Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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