is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
