end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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