Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
