U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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