I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
