operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
