i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He kissed a someone with a penis
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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