I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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