Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
