nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
