I just made out with a guy for $7.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
