Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
