I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
