belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Can you bring me the toilet please
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
