So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
