Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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