There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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