we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Vodka?
Forever.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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