I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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