Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
