I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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