I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
