cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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