hotel room ftw
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
