We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
