she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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