i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
