im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
