He is like the real live version of the state fair..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Pants are for mortals
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
