Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
