Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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