he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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