just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
