Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
