I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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