I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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