I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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