Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
