he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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