please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
