Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize