I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
