Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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