Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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