im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
