I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
