Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
