she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
