awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I currently don't understand fingers.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
