i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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