It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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