So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
In other news, I just burned my penis
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
sex in a hospital.. check
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
