my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
