I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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