i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
