I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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