We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
