no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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