I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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