How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
